| Directed by | ||
|---|---|---|
 | Roger Duchowny | |
| Starring | ||
|---|---|---|
 | Victor Buono | Chief Ironbottom |
| Tony Danza | Pony Lambretta |
| Jamie Farr | Studsky |
| John Byner | Len 'Hatch' Hatchington |
| Gavin MacLeod | Lt. Nojack |
| Buck Owens | Sheriff Tim MacSkye |
| Connie Stevens | Sgt. Salty Sanderson |
| Jimmie Walker | Parks the Pusher |
 | Burt Young | Lt. Palumbo |
| Marty Allen | Det. Starkos |
| Richard Deacon | Mr. Burnice |
| Gunilla Hutton | Raquel |
| Roz Kelly | Virgina Trickwood |
| Liz Torres | Mrs. Palumbo |
| Don Adams | Narrator |
| Mason Adams | Willie the Wino |
| Mitch Kreindel | The Man in White |
| Michael DeLano | Thug |
| Tessa Richarde | Sophia |
| E. Wetta Little | Marilyn |
| Mel Blanc | Chickie Baby |
| Allen Case | Kindly Doctor |
| W.T. Zacha | Truck Driver |
| Jack Lindine | Rookie Cop |
| Colin Hamilton | Fitzhugh |
| Harriet Medin | Great Lady |
| Carle Bensen | Dandified Gentleman |
| Iris Adrian | Candy Store Proprietor |
| Linda Lawrence | Girl #1 |
| Kathy Clarke | Girl #2 |
| Twink Caplan | Hooker #1 |
| Muffi Durham | Hooker #2 |
| Tanya Boyd | Stunner |
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